its all about me

so i think it is all about me for a little. now i know i like to pretend that it is always about me but this time i am for real.

i let everyone do what they will and that is not good i am not a doormat. so anyways i started my new outlook by buying myself something nice just for me that i could eat. that was fun. but now i am just gonna treat myself to everything that i really want and that includes what i really want to tell people and how i want to act.

oh yea for all you hateful people out there i am sorry that you suck and i am amazing but hey there is nothing that i can really do about something like that. i am sorry you suck but oh well that is the way life is huh.

and for everyone else take care and much love.

hesitation

so i do not knwo what i am doing right now. i thought that i would want to do this marketing thing but the more i think about it the less i like it. esssentially it is like telemarketing but going door to door instead. that does not sound like me at all and is really nothing that i would like to do.

on top of that i think that it is taking me further and further from what i want to do and that is cook. so maybe i will see what my dad has to offer me in los angeles instead. granted i really do not wanna be in the same city but it is a large one so i think i could hide from him pretty well and we will see what happens.

but in the mean time you what i have found is the new thing that really gets under my skin...stupid people. no and i do not mean people that are not smart but people who do stupid things. like the other day this guy decides to go have sex in someone elses house while they are having a party. come on there is a thing called TACT...USE IT!!!!

and other things like that. i have a theory that there are too many people in the world and so if someone wants to hurt themselves let them. i know that is a horrible thing to say but think about it if they did it to themselves they would not be puttiong others in harms way which tends to happen when someone else decides to get involved.

i know i am an insensitive a$$ but think about it...just for a moment and as much as you do not want to admit it i am sure that you have had the same thoughts as me. and plus it is better than talking politics.

what a wonderful world

so here is an update seeing as that i have not written anything in a while. so i went out to san francisco to get a job and i gots one. not only did i get one but after only about 6 months of b!@#h work i get to stop doing that and get trained to become a manager.

what is even better is that i have a place to STAY!!! it is in daly city which is about 10 min away and it is with some co-workers. that is co cool to say right now. so that is good, and i am happy.

but now here comes the hard part. i have to get home and then get packed and then get all of my stuff out here and whatnot like that so i can live there. so i have to do a lot of work in the next couple of days but it is so worth it. do you not agree? so anyways it is time for me to say my final farewells to bloomington, illinois well the whole mid-west to be exact and move my little but west.

starting a life as a college graduate on my own. wow how romantic is that. so critic would think that i grew up with shakesphere or read a lot of him. neither of which is true. but romantic books (as in books from the romantic era, not softcore porn) are a pleasure to read. just a side note. well off to get my life together.

and a happy new year...

well it is the first day of the new year and what am i doing? sitting
in my bed because i am sick...talk about a great vacation this turned
out to be huh? well anyways this has been an interesting time for me
right now seeing as that i amgraduated and all.

i have jobs
lined up and all that jazz but i think i am scared that i am not going
to get one and i am afraid of failing. so i think i am keeping myself
from succeeding which is just as bad i guess. so this is a dilemma that
i have right now.

dilemma, that is a song by nelly with kelly rowland in it...maybe i will listen to it tonight.

but i have now gotten a chance to catch up on all of the tv
shows that i have not gotten to see in the past couple of weeks. i
guess life could be worse and i hope that things work out well soon.

oh yea eh-bull-ly-bah-dee have a happy new year