initation

well it is offical, we have finished the initiation of six great men into our chapter. i am very excited and very tired but the dowsiness will fade.

it was a grand experience watching them grow in the fraternity and as young men. why am i talking like i am old, shoot i am still growing as a young man. well it is easier to watch and see the changes in someone else than it is to see in yourself, that is one thing that i did learn.

but it is great i have not been this excited for a while and now my little brother can wear letters, that is right that i got him. what can i say i am an awesome big. but we can save that for another day.

i am starting to grow a little migrane so i think that this is the end for the time being.

time

well here i am. just chillin here waiting for someting to happen.

i have noticed that when i try for some oddreason everythign just gets messed up right now. mabye right i will take some time and just let some things just happen to me. i am curious to see how that willl end up.

i am just tired right now of everything i just want to relax. and i do not mean kicking off my shoes and having a beer. no i am talking about a break from everythig so that my brain can just calm down and i can be at peace.

well that will not happen for a very long time, so i guess i will have to find a new way to get by. because right now the insomnia is a pain and i do not know how much longer i can take it.

well for the thrid attempt at sleep.

i miss

i miss...

movies,
long walks with friends,
talking with my younger, little, and big brother,
peace,
quite nights,
freedom,
no stress,
SLEEP,
food,
joy,
everything...

life is hard right now.