life of a junior college student

monday-wake up, go to class on time, eat lunch, track practice, study, video games sleep. favorite moment...none.

tuesday-wake up late (no class till 12), print out notes and homework, class, lab, come late to practice, eat, shower, homework, study, movie, bed. favorite moment...convincing my chemistry teacher i am not crazy.

wednesday-wake up, miss a class because i did not set my alarm clock right, skip lunch, class, bio lab, practice, eat dinner, shower, play video games and watch a movie. favorite moment...pulling frog eggs apart.

thrusday-wake up, class, eat, track practice, lab, work and write on blog site. favorite moment...pulling my hamstring, no not really.

friday-wake up, go to class on time, eat lunch, study for a bit, go to track practice and do nothing since i just pulled my hamstring, shower, eat, study some more, got to be early. favorite moment..if it follows anythign like the rest of the week probably none.

saturday-wake up at 5 so i can get ready for the track meet that i will probably not be running in, sit down for 12 hours, ride in a bus for another 4, come home, paooibly party if i feel the need. favorite moment...watching everyone else do something that i love and i cannot.

sunday-wake up, do some homework, study, go to chapter, get breakfast somewhere in the middle of all that, more homework after chapter, dinner, CHURCH, movie and sleep. favorite moment..church.

yea i got this idea from here.

The Workingest Girl

chain of command

so you know you always complain to your superiors, yea i do not have that.

it has been this ongoing thing with me this year, well i think for a couple of years. i need to talk to someone and i do not know who it should be. i have spread myself around in a way that i can only talk to certain people about certain things, well now there are a conglomeration of issues that are all intertwined and no one knows about all of them.

i cannot talk to my younger brother, he is not ready for that, he has his own stuff to deal with. i cannot talk to my little because he cannot understand. everytime i need to talk my big is somewhere else and when he is there i do not want too.

so who is the superior? i am not sure. not a big fan of telling strangers my problems and do not think that the parents need this so i think i am stuck.

it is funny i wish for the problems others have because i feel that they would be more easily remedied. but hey that is just me.

well i guess i should not give the impression that things are all bad. this semester has been going pretty well in terms of school and that is a good thing to start with. my favorite professor loves me and that is even better.

the roommate still cracks me up. you know what i have written about him in a long time. maybe i will do that tomorrow. hahaha that is awesome.

so i guess there are a lot of positives going on right now. i am learning to make myself happy again and that is a big thing for me. right now i can only go up and that is the best thing of all.

hey like Winston Churchill said "if you are going through hell, keep going" i will have to agree.

when the past finds the present

wow!!! (those are for you fred, hahahaha) i have not see this person in 6 years, and what happenes i see him at a track meet.

the real kicker is that he walks up to me and calls me by my whole name, and that is right i do not remember. not until after he took his hood off did i recognize him but i did not know his last name. i felt like a complete jerk. he even got the state that i moved back too when i left bloomington. what is that, well needless to say i felt like an ass.

for you who know me i know what you are thinks (that is right you are an ass) well i am sorry. but it was just weird cuz it caught me off guard, i did not know what to do. but then we got to talking and it was nice.

it is good to catch up with the people that you were once friends with. he made me smile and it was nice. oh yea and speaking of reconnecting there is a certain liz i should probably send an email too.

well here is to old friends. (that was a toast everyone, that means raise you glasses and take a drink, say clink if there is no one there to toast with.)

i am crazy hahaha

where am i?

so yea i do not know what i am doing right now...i start with one thing and change to another. where am i and what am i doing?

i find myself asking that questino more and more often now and i do not know what to make of it. i think in someways i am lost and in others i am on top of my game. it is a weird feeling i have decided and i do not know if i like it or not.

hmmm i feel that i do not know what i am doing with myself. is that wrong to feel like that? is it ok? i do not know what to make of it and is that ok?

i find that the more i ask questions to find the answer all it does is lead to more questions and i feel like i am not getting anywhere with anything. i guess that all of it will come with time, but what if it doesn't? where will i be then?

am i prepared for that outcome? i do not think that i am ready now. will i ever be? what is with all of the questions? where am i going with all of this?

this is what i feel like i am doing all of the time. is this healthy? is it normal? hmm i really do not know. i guess i will have to settle for that right now and try and think of an answer tomorrow.

good night.

oh yea if school is for the smart people why do i have idiots living right next door? (no not you rishboo and erok)

1, 2, step

this beat is automatic, supersonic, hyponitic, funky fresh, work my body, so melodic, this beat rolls right through my chest, everyboby ma and pappi came to party, grabs somebody, work your body, let me see you 1, 2, step.

rock it, don't stop it, everybody get on the floor. break the party up, we about to get it off. let me see you 1,2 step, i love it when you 1,2 step, everybody 1,2 step, we about ti get it off.

this beat is outrageous, so contageous, make you crave it, jazzi made it. so retarded, top charted, ever since the dance started, strut myself and yes i flaunt it, goodies make the boys jump on it. no i can't control myself, now let me do my 1,2 step.

rock it, don't stop it, everybody get on the floor. break the party up, we about to get it off. let me see you 1,2 step, i love it when you 1,2 step, everybody 1,2 step, we about ti get it off.

it don't matter to me, we can dance slow. which ever way the beat drop our bodies will go. so swing it over here mr dj, and we will we will rock you. it don't matter to me, we can dance slow. which ever way the beat drop our bodies will go. so swing it over here mr dj, and we will we will rock you.

(missy)- i shake it like jello, make the boys say hello, cuz you know i'm rockin' the beat. i know you heard about a lotta great mc's, but they aint got nothin on me. because im five foot two, i wanna dance with you and i'm sophisticated fun. i eat filet mingnon, and im nice and young, best believe im number one.

rock it, don't stop it, everybody get on the floor. break the party up, we about to get it off. let me see you 1,2 step, i love it when you 1,2 step, everybody 1,2 step, we about ti get it off.

ciara.

my little is great

hahahaha

my little brother cracks me up. sometimes he reminds me of a little child but in a good way. he just told me something that i have knowm for a very long time and knew was coming. but it is funny and nice that he has enough respect for me to tell me anyways.

he likes my last ex which is good for him, i am sure they will be happy. but it was great non-the-less. it made my night and that is a good thing. he is funny.

hey shelf-butt (insert sound-effects here)this is great and see i told you. hahaha but we need to talk.

with a saddened heart

a president, a brother and most of all a friend, he leaves us. i wish you the best my brother in all that this year may bring you. good luck and i hope that the peace in which you seek, you find.

we all love you and we will deeply miss you. everyone in this chapter has been effected by you and in spirit you will always be here. be strong in new ventures for the fruits of them will be the best that you have ever tasted.

this is not the end, it is a transition that you have chosen to make and in making that decision although you think is selfish is anything but. you taking this time not only allows you to find what you are looking for but will allow you be become a better friend, brother, president and companion to all in your life. (they do not all apply to one person) you will find that part of you which will make you whole and nothing would make us happier than to see that.

i will miss you phil, we will miss you.

farewell but not for too long.

improved...but not new

that is right tomorrow starts my last semester as a junior. well i guess that is kind of a stupid statement because i only have two semesters as a junior. but i am goin to make it anyways.

this year has gone by so quickly and it is strange like that. i am looking forward to what this year has to bring because i feel that it is goin to be a good one. ok enough with all of the sappy stuff.

you know what i have found that i really do not like. the airport. i mean come one now. what is this. espically sea-tac. i do not think that i have ever been in an airport with the dumbest security. i feel that they would do me more harm that anyone on the plane. hahaha but serioursly what is this?

when leaving to go down to california something was wrong in one of the security lines, so instead of stopping that one and letting people go through the rest of them this is what they do they shut them all down. now can someone please tell me what is the meaning of this? frankly i am baffled and so were the security guards in line which made me laugh.

ahh well it is time to finish the registration.

there is nothing worse than bad chinese food except bad mexican food. (by the way there are two of my favorites, well not bad food but good mexican and chinese food)

merry christmas...belated

so this is a good time of year for everyone. well that is if you have someone to spend it with of course. i am sorry if you do not you can always spend it with me if you are reading this then i am sure you know me and then that works hahahahahaha.

what can i say i crack myself up. it has certainly beena while and i am sure most people thought that i fell off the face of the earth. well i am here to tell you that i did not and i am just fine, well a little older, wiser, stronger, and more cynical but other than that the same old me. you just have to love it.

well it was nice gettin back from school and getting to catch up with other people. like liz for example, i do talk to her ona fairly regular basis via email but it was just nice to see her, and her new hair, and braces. it gave us time to catch up on everything that we did not put in our emails because that would take way too long to type. di, drexel says hey. speaking of di, she gave me a really hard time for not coming earlier to visit her and that made me smile.

i am ejoying the break that i am having from life, but i have learned that you really cannot take a complete break from life. one of these days i will discover that secret and then i will be the best person in the world. hahahaha.

seriously though i love life for the most part and that is a good thing. granted there were a few and sometimes large bumps in the road bti think that i handled all of them in the best possible way and became a better person for that.

i wish my picture CD did not get scratched because now i cannot post any of them and i am sad so now i have to take more pictures. well that really is not that bad of a problem to have now is it?

it feels good to write something on here again. oh yea and i think that you should check out one of my best friends sites he has one too. it is a new addition to the links portion of this page. well until we meet again

FOCKER OUT!

if you did not see the movie that will not be funny

if i want to...

everytime i look up i can see it in your face you wanna hook up with me. instead of actin like your supposed to, you cop an attitude like you're too good for me.

and you know good and damn well that if i want it i can take you from your man, with my eyes closed. i could have you eatin out of the palm of my hand, and all your little girlfriends too.

girl-no you can't get with me if i don't want you

yes i can if i will if i want to baby.

ain't nobody tryin clown you, but your too damn old to play high school games with me. cause even when im not around you i be hearin from my friends you be askin about me. i don't really care how long you've been together with your man. it's just a matter of time before i make you mine. i wanna make it clear, so there is no misunderstanding, that i get, what i want, when i want.

if i want it i can take you from your man, with my eyes closed. i could have you eatin out of the palm of my hand, and all your little girlfriends too.

girl-no you can't get with me if i don't want you

yes i can if i will if i want to baby.

that i get, what i want, when i want.

if i want it i can take you from your man, with my eyes closed. i could have you eatin out of the palm of my hand, and all your little girlfriends too.

girl-no you can't get with me if i don't want you

yes i can if i will if i want to baby.

study time

that is right, finals are drawing closer and closer and that is what i will be doing all week. if you have not heard from me in a while that is probably the reason.

this will be it for me and so i am making the last effort to make sure my grades do not plummit. i think that will not be all that hard but hey you never know what life might throw your way and so i just think i will try and prepare for the worst. i think that is a pretty good way of approaching things right now so i think that i will do it like that.

hmm it is off to the lab for me.

it's been a long time

wow it seems like forever since the last time that i have put anything up. it is a shame i think that i really need to get back into the swing of things. this has been such an interesting semester for me i must say that this one tops all of the other ones.

that is no small feet too, because freshman year i was the roommate of the kid that stole playstations and sold them on ebay. my favorite was that he took a chain that i had and my camera dock and sold them too. it was funny because i did want to know where he got all of his money since he did not work and his parents did not send him money.

then sophomore year i had about 700 dollars worth of clothing a shoes stolen. one who has that many clothes at college, this kid, and two why would someone do that, because they were trying to get me back for what i still do not understand to this day, because i really was not that mean to the kids that did this. as a matter of fact i would help them out with all sorts of things.

but i will not lie this year takes the cake. i guess i am not as ready to speak about it as openly as the last too, granted they were much more comical than this year.

oh yea and finding a job, so much harder to do this year than any other year. i swear it is the most difficult thing i have ever done. well that is about it.

thanksgiving was awesome. i have never eaten so much in my life and that is tough because i eat so much it would probably make a fat person sick. hahahaha college humor sorry. but it was good, if i could ever get my pics online then i would be able to show what some of them looked like. but it just is not working.

to all back home i miss talkin with you. and i think mabye i will drop by when i get back.

initation

well it is offical, we have finished the initiation of six great men into our chapter. i am very excited and very tired but the dowsiness will fade.

it was a grand experience watching them grow in the fraternity and as young men. why am i talking like i am old, shoot i am still growing as a young man. well it is easier to watch and see the changes in someone else than it is to see in yourself, that is one thing that i did learn.

but it is great i have not been this excited for a while and now my little brother can wear letters, that is right that i got him. what can i say i am an awesome big. but we can save that for another day.

i am starting to grow a little migrane so i think that this is the end for the time being.

time

well here i am. just chillin here waiting for someting to happen.

i have noticed that when i try for some oddreason everythign just gets messed up right now. mabye right i will take some time and just let some things just happen to me. i am curious to see how that willl end up.

i am just tired right now of everything i just want to relax. and i do not mean kicking off my shoes and having a beer. no i am talking about a break from everythig so that my brain can just calm down and i can be at peace.

well that will not happen for a very long time, so i guess i will have to find a new way to get by. because right now the insomnia is a pain and i do not know how much longer i can take it.

well for the thrid attempt at sleep.

i miss

i miss...

movies,
long walks with friends,
talking with my younger, little, and big brother,
peace,
quite nights,
freedom,
no stress,
SLEEP,
food,
joy,
everything...

life is hard right now.

busy

so yea i have been so busy i would sit down and think "right now i do not have time to sit here and breathe." well hopefully next week will not be so bad or else i will go crazy.

but it is nice to have enough time just to sit here and type something. i like it. well i think that is all i have time for.

roses are red violets are blue, you are mean and i am too.

its been a long time...

so this has been really interesting. i have never had a little brother (not to be confused with younger brother) before. i did not think that i would be able to handle it. but then i talked to my big brother (not to be confused with older because i am the oldest) and he told me that i was ready.

well i know that does not sound like a big thing to any ordinary person but i guess it really is because he is more critical than me. wow what a shock to find someone more critical than me. for everyone laughing try not to get too loud.

but so i embark on this journey with my little brother and it will be an interesting one. i have learned to balance time and his needs with the needs of myself and have become quite successful at it.

it has been a long time since i have put something up here and that is strange but oh well what can you do now. this is going to be a good week i can tell already i do not know why yet but i know it will be. well i gots to get ready to have an awesome day.

movies

i have a rather large collection of movies that i am quite fond of. i have all types. you know scary, murders/criminal, romantic, comedy, mysteries, fantasies, and even sinister ones.

i love them all because i love movies. if i could i would like to take ebert or ropert's place and be a film critic and that would be awesome.

if i could get paid for watching movies that is all that i would do. life could not be any better. well i guess it could but i think that i would have a great time.

well enough about that but i could go on forever about how much i love movies and what not. if you ever wanna talk you know where to find me.

these are the times...

god knows that you're a sexy thing. its takin everything in me not to kiss you over under, feel you inside feel my thunder. how the hel could i not want you.

girl you don't have to be a thing, i'll wait for you, you wait for me. cuz true love's insisting, we don't have to rush at all.

these are the times we all wish for, the moment when less means so much more. we don't have to do a thing at all, we can take our time and talk. and this is the way things need to be no pressure for you and none for me. just let the mood set the moment off, wecan make love or not at all.

been thinking bout you all the time, morning, noon, and suppertime. tear you up in little pieces, swallow you like reeses pieces, come on girl you know i need it.

it ain't supposed to be a thing, i'll wait for you, you wait for me. cuz true love's insisting, we don't have to rush at all.

these are the times we all wish for, the moment when less means so much more. we don't have to do a thing at all, we can take our time and talk. and this is the way things need to be no pressure for you and none for me. just let the mood set the moment off, wecan make love or not at all.

i don't make promises, cuz i know my heart gets weak. when i get around you girl, it makes them hard to keep. cuz you bring out the best, make me the man god knows i'm prod to be.

these are the times we all wish for, the moment when less means so much more. we don't have to do a thing at all, we can take our time and talk. and this is the way things need to be no pressure for you and none for me. just let the mood set the moment off, wecan make love or not at all.

man do i love that song...

ice cream and a movie

so yea i am sitting here on a friday night eating ice cream and watching a movie with one of my best female friends here. it is nice and i miss college life like this.

relaxing without having to worry about anthing life is just carefree. i wish that everything could be like this moment. just bottle it up and keep it forever.

well days like that cannot happen all of the time and that is what makes times like these so special.

well to these days we all love.