hatred

why is it that the things that we are the best at are the things that we hate doing the most. well in my case that is what happens.

like take my instrument for instance. you would think that after 12 years that i would great at playing it. well boy was i wrong. i guess that maybe playing on and off for two years will have that effect on someone.

but going from great to alright is not something that excites me. working harder only frustrates me more because i know i can do it.

i'll get there again and when i do it will be awesome. and i hate my instrument.